An Unlove Story

She sat motionless on the royal bed, her knees drawn up to her chin. She stared vacantly outside the palace window. She was sheathed in exquisite scarlet red silk, shot through with golden threads forming intricate traditional patterns. Chests of gems and jewelleries were strewn all over the bed. The maids were fussing over whether a diamond-studded necklace would suit their queen or a gold choker would look better. Another younger maid was arranging her tresses in a coiffeur. But her mind was elsewhere, far removed from the cacophony of the royal bedchamber of Hastinapur. Once again, in her memory, she was transfigured into that naïve girl in the sylvan hermitage of Rishi Kanva.

*

She was the most bright protégé of Rishi Kanva. Apart from theology and philosophy, she took active interest in politics, administration, diplomacy and strategies of warfare. Rishi Kanva's chest swelled with pride whenever he looked at his foster daughter.

*

On that fateful day, she was poring over a book while she heard light footsteps approaching the hut, followed by an unknown gravelly voice asking, "Who is here?" Rishi Kanva was not present in the hermitage at that time, so she went out of the hut to greet the stranger. A tall, wiry man of athletic built was standing in front of her. His smooth ebony skin glistened in the sun. Clad in exquisite clothes and gems, he looked like a king.

"Who are you?", she asked in her dulcet voice.

"I am Duhshanta, the king of Hastinapur.", he replied smugly.

She welcomed him and offered him a seat. The man was thirsty and asked for water. When she bended to hand him the brass tumbler of water, she noticed him staring brazenly at her décolletage revealed unwittingly. Feeling embarassed, she straightened up and asked hesitatingly, "O king! What else can I do for you?"

"I have come to pay my respects to the illustrious Rishi Kanva. Where has he gone?", he asked.

"Father has gone to collect fruits. Please wait for a while."

He looked surprised. "Is Rishi Kanva your father? But I heard that he is a celibate."

"Yes, what you heard is true. He is my foster father. My biological father is Rishi Vishvamitra, mother Menaka, the celestial apsara. My parents deserted me on the banks of the Malini river immediately after my birth. Rishi Kanva took pity on me and brought me home. He named me Shakuntala because vultures protected me from carnivores. Since then, he has been raising me single-handedly.", she quavered at the recollection of her painful past.

Duhshanta's heart melted for the beautiful woman. Though she was attired modestly in rough cotton like an ascetic, he didn't fail to notice her dazzling beauty. The woman in front of him was blessed with a voluptuous figure. She was a bit heavy in the bottom and her rounded hips swayed alluringly when she walked. Her firm, rounded breasts looked inviting through the diaphanous cloth. Duhshanta felt sick with desire. All he wanted was to get her in his bed.

He said hoarsely, "O beautiful one! Be my wife. Marry me according to gandharva rites."

Shakuntala was taken aback at this sudden proposal of marriage. She felt hot blood coursing through her veins.

She replied demurely, "O king! Please wait for my father to return. He will give me to you."

But Duhshanta was in no mood to wait. He said ingratiatingly, "My heart now belongs to you. Please accept me yourself. The gandharva form of marriage is sanctioned for Kshatriyas. Don't be scared."

The raw passion in his voice unnerved her. "If I marry you, will I become the queen of Hastinapur and rule over the kingdom like you do?", she asked.

The impudence of the woman irked Duhshanta. There was an elongated, uneasy pause which Shakuntala now remembered vividly. It is a strange thing about old conversations. Sometimes, you remember the pauses in between sentences more, the sighs, even the expressions, even if you cannot see them.

Shakuntala sighed silently. Only if she had refused him that day, life could have been different.

Duhshanta curled his lips contemptuously. "Silly girl! If you marry me, you'll merely be my consort. Ruling over a kingdom is not a woman's business.", he said curtly.

Shakuntala was dismayed. But she quickly gathered herself together and replied, "O king! I have one condition. Promise me that the son who is born to me will succeed you. Only if you agree to this, you may unite with me."

It didn't take much to persuade Duhshanta to accept the condition. Soon they got married. Needless to say, Duhshanta ravished her in the nuptial bed and immediately left for the capital on the pretext of some urgent business. Before he departed, he promised to send a fourfold army to escort her to his royal palace.

*

Rishi Kanva was overjoyed when he heard the news of her daughter's marriage. "I couldn't have found a better husband for you, Shakuntala. But you are young and gullible. You have lived in my hermitage since birth and are not acquianted with the ways of the outside world. These kings can be very wily. But lets hope for the best."

*

In due time, Shakuntala gave birth to a boy. Rishi Kanva performed all necessary rites of passage. The boy grew up to be big, strong and strapping. He was amiable with a ready smile that endeared him to everybody present in the hermitage. Rishi Kanva named him Sarvadamana. The fourfold army from Hastinapur never came.

When the boy was six years old, Rishi Kanva called Shakuntala one day. "I think the time has come for you to go to your matrimonial home now. Your son is not an ordinary boy, he is the king's son. He should be instated as the heir apparent now."

Rishi Kanva's other disciples escorted Shakuntala and her son to the royal palace of Hastinapur.

*

The opulence of the royal palace of Hastinapur dazzled Shakuntala. As the ruling king's wife, she had expected a warm welcome, but she got none.

When she entered the royal court, the bejewelled king on the throne suddenly seemed like a distant man. The profundity of the gulf between them overwhelmed her for a moment. But she regained her composure quickly. That man on the throne was her husband, after all. And not just her husband, he was the father of her only son too. She paid homage to the king and declared, "This is your son. Can you remember the promise you made to me in Rishi Kanva's hermitage long ago? Now the time has come to fulfill that promise. O king, instate your son as the heir apparent."

Duhshanta clearly remembered everything. But he didn't had any intention to accept a poor woman from a remote hermitage as his wife and her son as theirs. He had already planned to marry a princess of a neighbouring kingdom. That alliance would further his political ambition and fill the royal coffers with innumerable gold coins. He was annoyed at the sudden arrival of Shakuntala. 

"I can't remember anything. Who are you? I never had any relation with you.", he said tartly.

Shakuntala looked incredulous. She said, "How can you lie like a common man? I am your wife Shakuntala. Treat me with due respect. And how can you disown your own son?" Her voice choked with sobs. Her parents abandoned her at birth. Now her husband was forsaking her. What was her fault? Had she committed any sin to deserve such fate? In tear-choked voice, she pleaded, "I am ready to go back to my hermitage. But do not forsake this child. He is your own son."

"Do you have any proof that this son born from you is mine? Who will believe you? Your mother Menaka was a courtesan. Your parents gave birth to you out of lust alone. Perhaps thats the reason you speak like a slut. Go away from here.", Duhshanta sneered.

Shakuntala's face tightened and her eyes turned steely. She hollered, "You can't insult my parents in front of me. My mother is one of the thirty gods. My birth is nobler than yours. You reside on earth, while I roam in the sky. And I don't want any relationship with you any more. I have raised my son single-handedly till now and will continue to do so. Even without you, my son shall rule over the entire earth."

Suddenly, a magical voice roared from the sky. "O Duhshanta! Accept your son and accept your wife, Shakuntala."

Surrounded by his ministers, Duhshanta had no other way but to accept Shakuntala and her son. He embraced his son and smilingly told Shakuntala, "Our marriage was unknown to the people here. Thats why I argued with you. If I instated my son based on your words alone, there would have been doubt among people. I forgive you for your harsh words." His tone was conciliatory. Shakuntala was surprised at how quickly he changed colours.

*

She was lost in reverie when a physical touch brought her back to reality. It was her husband's touch. Duhshanta lovingly tucked a stray curl behind her ear. It was their first night together as a couple in the royal bed-chamber of Hastinapur.

"Don't you dare touch me.", she hissed.

"Shakuntala, my beloved wife, what happened?", he asked in genuine surprise.

"I don't love you any more, O king! You may be magnanimous enough to forgive me for my temerity, but I haven't been able to forgive you for what you have done. And I can't allow a man who I don't love to make love to me. Pardon me." Every word of hers dripped sarcasm.

A white-hot fury coursed through him. "But I have already accepted you as my wife. Isn't it enough for you?", he hollered.

"You have been forced to accept me as your wife. But the moment you tried to disown your son, the moment you tried to slut-shame me, I lost all respect for you. Your very presence now precipitates an intense hatred in me. What can I do?", she answered equably. "You married me out of lust only. You saw the beauty of my body, but you failed to see the beauty of my heart or the beauty of my mind. You are such a shallow man, Duhshanta.", she added for good measure.

"Then why are you staying here? Go back to your father's hermitage.", he fumed.

"Don't assume that I am staying here to enjoy the royal hospitality.", Shakuntala laughed loudly. "I am staying here just because of my son. You may forget your duties as a father, but I can't renounce my motherly responsibilities. As a mother, it's my duty to look after him, to guide him, to protect him till he grows up. Once he turns an adult and takes charge of his own life and his own kingdom, I'll consider my job to be finished. Then I'll renounce this royal palace and retire to my father's hermitage. And as far as you are concerned, I don't think you are in any way dependent on your wife to satisfy your carnal desires. You are free to seek pleasures outside the wedlock.", her tone was flat and final.

Duhshanta was dumbstruck. He was used to women fawning over him. It was the first time that a woman showed the impertinence to humiliate him. A cold wind blowed through the palace window, sending shivers down his spine. Was it the wind of change? 

Glossary:

Apsara- Apsaras are celestial maidens associated with Indra's court.

Gandharva- One of the eight forms of marriage. In this form, there are no ceremonies and no relatives are present.

Vultures- The word used in the Mahabharata is shakuna.

Fourfold army- With infantry, cavalry, elephants and chariots.

Acknowledgements: 

1. "The Mahabharata 1" translated by Bibek Debroy.

2. "The Courtesan, the Mahatma & the Italian Brahmin: Tales from Indian History" by Manu S. Pillai.

This story was shortlisted for the November 2021 Muse of the Month short fiction contest. Click here to read the story.

Baba, Baby O...

Much has been said and written about single mothers, but when it comes to single fathers, there has not been much debates and discussions on it. Being a single father is rather unusual and something rarely heard of. Our society has a common perception that compared to men, women are better equipped by nature to handle the responsibilies of raising children. But things are changing rapidly and the changing social milieu gets reflected in pop-culture too. When I first heard about the Bengali movie "Baba, Baby O...", I made up my mind to watch the movie simply out of curiosity because of the rather unusual topic it dealt with.

Meghroddur (played by Jisshu Sengupta), the protagonist of the movie, is a man in his forties. He is bachelor and when he failed to find the love of his life even after four decades of existence, he decides to enjoy the bliss of fatherhood instead. So he becomes a father of twin babies through surrogacy. Later, he meets his love interest Brishti (played by Solanki Roy) at a toy-store where he goes shopping for toys for his children. Brishti, the owner of the toy-store, is in her 20s and she hates kids. Their rather unusual love-story unfolded in the movie.

According to a study by the University of Toronto done in 2016, of the world's 2-3 billion children, 14% are growing up in a single-parent household. In the US alone, fathers make for 4% of the total single-parent households, shows the US 2015 census report. Though there isn't enough data on the number of single fathers in India, it's not something that is unheard of yet there's not adequate portrayal of single fathers in pop-culture. This is why I find the movie "Baba, Baby O..." rather unique.

I found the whole concept of the movie quite interesting and thought-provoking. I am not a pro at reviewing movies. So I am just going to share the reasons why the movie resonated so strongly with me.

First, the movie is laudable for de-coupling the concepts of marriage and parenthood. In most mainstream, commercial movies, the lead couple fall in love first, followed by marriage and parenthood. But this movie does not follow any such linear narrative. Here the protagonist becomes a "Baba" (father) first. The "O" (the significant other) enters his life much later.

Second, given the fact that the protagonist Megh is a single father, it was kind of expected that he would expect his future wife to be a mother-figure in his children's lives. Here, too, the movie strays from the expected narrative. Brishti is a woman who hates children and is least interested in motherhood. But that doesn't deter Megh from falling in love with her. The movie highlights that marriage is expected to offer companionship only. Nothing more, nothing less. Even if both the partners are not on the same page regarding parenthood, there's nothing wrong in it. This is something I absolutely adored about the movie. 

Third, it drives home the point that a parent is a parent, biological or not. To be a good parent, you just need a heart capable of loving unconditionally. There's nothing biological about it. Brishti's mother remarried after her divorce. Her ex-husband, Brishti's biological father, was an absent father who didn't want anything to do with his daughter. On the other hand, Brishti's step-father became successful to be a real father-figure in her life.

Fourth, it debunks the myth that women are natural care-givers. Megh, a man, loves being a father while Brishti, a woman, hates kids. Care-giving has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with individual characteristics.

Overall, I loved the movie for it's rather modern take on marriage and parenthood. At the end of the movie, I had only one niggling doubt in my mind: can the reverse of the situation depicted in the movie ever happen? Would a man in his 20s ever dare to fall in love with a single mother in her 40s? I'll definitely love to watch such a movie.

Acknowledgement: An article on internet about single fathers in India

Oh Dear

Oh dear,

When I look back and see you, young and gullible, my heart goes out to you. It's your D-day and you are looking resplendent bedecked in that exquisite red banarashee saree. Your kohl-rimmed eyes have taken on a new brilliance today in anticipation of stepping into a new phase of your life. How I wish your coming days to be as fragrant as the tuberose flowers in that garland that you're wearing now, as redolent as the dots of sandalwood paste adorning your forehead! But to your utter dismay, that's not how things are going to pan out in your future. Your effervescent smile breaks my heart. I want to take the innocuous bride-to-be in my arms and whisper in her ear, "Hey girl! You're going to make the biggest mistake of your life which will alter the course of your life irrevocably. All through your life, you'll regret this one mistake that you're going to commit today. But the flow of time is unidirectional. No matter how hard I try, I can't turn the clock back and warn you of your impending misfortune. And you, blissfully unaware of all the heartache, misery and sorrow that are waiting in your path, are heading in the wrong direction. But all I know for now is that you have the resilience to go through the darkness with grace and dignity. And I love you unconditionally, whole-heartedly, no matter what comes.

With love,

Your 37-years-old future self.

March Reads 2022

I have read total three books in March. And all three books have been written by women writers! What a pleasant coincident given that the International Women's Day is also in March. In this post, I'm going to review briefly all these three books.

1. "The Seven Sisters: Kitchen Tales from the North East" by Purabi Shridhar, Sanghita Singh

This book is basically a collection of authentic recipes from the Seven Sister states of North-East India. But what makes the book different from other cookbooks is that this book also tells the stories associated with the recipes along with describing the distinguishing topography, culture, cuisine of each state. The recipes are very simple and requires basic ingredients. Most are made from locally available herbs, vegetation, fishes and animals and requires little to no spice. Some recipes don't even require the addition of salt. They are a reminder of the simple tribal way of life that existed in North-East India. While there's no doubt about the health benefits of these recipes, I don't think they will be quite palatable to my Bengali taste-buds. However, it's a pleasure to know about the cuisine of the little known North-East India.

2. "Song of the Cuckoo Bird" by Amulya Malladi

It's a book spanning four decades in post-independence India, beginning in 1961 and ending in 2000. The novel depicts the lives of women inmates at an ashram situated at Telia Meda, Andhra Pradesh. The plot is quite interesting with many strong women characters. The characters seemed to me as trapped in their own lives, own circumstances. They tried hard to escape their destinies, but not always succeeded. These women differed from the women of mainstream society as Telia Meda provided shelters to the discards of society.

The characters will stay with the readers for a long time even after finishing the story. They were thrown into a life which was not their own choice, the only exception being Kokila, the protagonist of the story. Charvi, the guru of the ashram, who was anointed guru by her father but who herself was unsure of her divinity, was never able to have a traditional family. Chetana, a prostitute's daughter, tried hard to get a normal life outside Telia Meda, but failed miserably. Kokila, who stayed in the ashram and refused to leave it for her husband's home, searched for love in men much older than her

Overall, a pleasant read. But the writing, I felt, could have been better. 

3. "Sach Kahun Toh: An Autobiography" by Neena Gupta

Ever since the book was published last year, I knew that I had to read this book. Neena Gupta is a controversial actor. While we all know that she gave birth to her daughter out of wedlock, I wanted to read about her struggles as a single mother. She has written just a few lines about her controversial affair with Vivian Richards in the book. So while the 'juicy' tid-bits are missing, reading about her journey as a single mother was a pleasure. I have always admired her for her courage, but reading the book made me realize that the real Neena Gupta is sometimes as vulnerable as any ordinary woman. She has written, "Raising a baby without the father, however, is really really hard. It's possibly one of the hardest things any woman has to do." 

She has not made any attempt to hide her relationships in the book. But what I loved best was her passion and her unwavering determination in whatever she did, be it pursuing her acting career or raising her child single-handedly. Coming from a humble, middle-class family, she has succeeded in making a name for herself as an actor. There are lot of tips and advices for the newbie actors in the book. And some quotes just stayed with me long after I finished the book. I'd love to share few such quotes here.

"If you are such a person, who genuinely wants to be liked and make everyone happy, please know that the only person you can make yourself happy is yourself. If you want to please everyone in the room, you're doomed."

"I want to ask my daughter countless times: What do you want from life? A career? Kids? Both? But I feel, in the end, regardless of what she chooses, the only thing that matters is that she has high self-esteem. That she loves herself and knows what she's worth. That she respects herself enough to not chase after other people's acceptance."