Penning the story of my life

If I were the author of my own life, would it have been very different than what it is now? As I am contemplating this idea, the one fact that comes to my mind first is that I was and I am independent, strong-willed, determined to take charge of my own life. I have never let others, not even my parents or my one time partner, determine the course of my life. 

If that is the case, then am I not always the author of my own story?

But then, life has not always turned the way I expected. Whoever be the author, life takes its own course. It is always unpredictable and that's why it is so adventurous. Life is a roller-coaster ride. In one moment, there is so much joy, so much pleasure, the next moment brings excruciating pain. There is peace and calmness in one moment, while the next moment is so much troubing. This, sometimes, makes me so tired that I desparately yearn for some stability in life, whether for good or bad.

If I am the one always, who is the sole author of this story, then why does each twist of the story surprises the author? This is because, I believe, I am not the single author here. Sometimes the flow of events is so beyond my control, that I feel that the god of fate, whom we Hindus call Bidhata-purush, is also writing my story, alongside me. Sometimes the pen is in my hand, but most of the time he snatches it from me and writes as he wants. I feel so powerless, I can't alter his writing.

Take, for instance, the allocation of service after I got selected in West Bengal Civil Service. Just a few more or a few less marks, and I could have easily landed in another person. That means, by now, I would have had a different social circle, met different kind of people, lived in a different place.

Consider the event of my wedding. It could have been with a different person easily. After all, it was an arranged marriage and there were marriage proposals from other guys as well.

But then, destiny takes me where I am today. Where I will be tomorrow will also be determined by the all powerful destiny.

Lastly, I'd like to share a quote from our great epic, the Mahabharata:
"Those who are wise do not feel sorry over fate. Even with the greatest wisdom, that which is ordained will happen. No one can transgress the path that has been laid down."
-The Mahabharata, Anukramanika Parva (Translated by Bibek Debroy)

This post is written in line with the Prompt If you were the writer of your own story - Your Life. How would you have altered it? #choice