This year, monsoon has
arrived with a vengeance in Kolkata. There has been a steady downpour since
morning. When Iravati stepped out of her office in the evening, it was still
drizzling. With an exasperated sigh, she opened her umbrella and headed towards
the nearby café instead of rushing to the bus-stop. Today, more than anything
else, she needed to sit with herself.
As she neared the café,
her mouth felt dry and her feet wobbled. She had visited the café many times
with Neel. She was afraid that going alone this time would flood her with a
fresh wave of grief and longing. But she was determined to get out of the murky
feelings of heartache. So she steeled her heart and walked on towards the café.
As she stepped inside
the café, the delicious aroma of freshly brewed coffee, buttery pastries, herbs
and spices greeted her. After taking a cursory look at the menu card, she
decided on Caffe Americano and a plate of Corn patties.
Two
years ago
Iravati was fresh out
of Engineering College when she joined "CodeLyne
Technologies" as an Associate Software Engineer. He was already a name
there- Neel Sengupta, Senior Project Manager. He was tall with athletic build.
His broad shoulders draped in crisp cotton shirt, his neatly ironed trousers,
shiny black shoes, few grey strands of hair near his temples rendered him an
aura of respectability. He had piercing black eyes which seemed to scour
anyone's innermost thoughts. However, there was a lingering shadow of
melancholy in his eyes. He was twenty years older than Iravati and... married.
The day Iravati laid
her eyes on Neel Sengupta, she felt an almost magnetic pull towards him. But
she was well aware of his marital status. So she tried to give him a wide
berth. Iravati herself was an average-looking woman with wheatish complexion
and medium height. But her mother said that her eloquent eyes and her long,
glossy, straight, raven-black hair made up for all her shortcomings.
Neel was proficient at
his job. Iravati soon discovered that he was very kind-hearted and always
willing to extend a helping hand to juniors when necessary. She also received
his help on many occasions.
One
and half years ago
It was a day of unrest.
A day of revelation. The election results had just been declared. Around
midday, there were violent clashes among followers of two rival political
parties. All of a sudden, a strike was declared and the entire city came to a
standstill. At evening, when Iravati reached the bus-stop, the road was almost
empty save a few private cars. Suddenly a car stopped in front of her and the
window glasses rolled down. It was Neel peering from the driver's seat.
"Want a ride?'
She hesitated for a few
moments, then gave in.
The air inside the car
was fragrant with the scent of Neel's woody, citrusy perfume. He broke the
silence first and started making small talk. He talked about his unhappy
marriage with Maya, about how trapped and suffocated he felt in that marriage.
for the first time, Iravati saw a vulnerable man masked behind the suave
corporate executive who had no one to care for him.
The distance between
them suddenly melted that day. Iravati felt a strange affection for this man.
She often cooked his favourite dishes to serve him during lunch-time.
Reshma, her workplace
buddy and closest confidante, sensed something was amiss.
"Neel Sengupta is
a married man. Don't fall for his charm.", she warned Iravati.
But Neel was Ira's own
secret which she fiercely guarded from the world.
"You're over
thinking. We're just good friends", she laughed drily.
With the passage of
time, love between them intensified. She loved how he made her feel. She loved
how his lips felt so perfect on hers. And she loved their secret love-making
sessions.
Neel promised her that
he would soon divorce Maya so that they could marry.
One
month ago
The office grapevine
was abuzz with the rumour that Neel's wife was pregnant. Ira's whole world
crumbled down when she heard the news.
"Is it
true?", she accosted Neel.
"Yes, Ira. It is true. I wanted to tell you myself,
but didn't have the courage. It was just... a mistake. But now, I can't avoid
my fatherly responsibilities for the sake of my own happiness. Forgive me, if
you can. And please try to forget me."
Ira stood shell-shocked.
"One more thing.
I've applied to the HR for a transfer. You don't have to face me daily."
Present
day
The waiter placed her
order on the table. She inhaled the invigorating aroma of the coffee and felt
relaxed. Then she took a bite from the corn patties. The chopped green chillies
of the stuffing set her tongue on fire. Her eyes smarted. But she didn't stop.
Another bite. Then another. Something inside her unravelled.
She realised that what
lies on the other side of heart-break is reclaiming her self-worth. He might
have failed her, but she must not fail herself. He might have abandoned her,
but she must not abandon herself. He might have wandered to a life that didn't
include her, but she must not wander away. She must come back to her whole
self.
Outside, the rain had subsided. She squared her shoulders, lifted her chin up, gathered her belongings and headed towards the bus-stop.
Image source: iStock
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