Sunday, June 17, 2018

Letter to a Son

Dearest soon-to-be-six Mainak,

Do you know why I named you 'Mainak' in the first place? 'Mainak' is the name of a mountain in our epic Ramayana. When you were born, your mother wished for you that you will outgrow all others in stature just like a mountain does. None will equal you. Everybody will have to tilt their head to look at you- you who will outshine all others. Do you know the fact that according to the mythology 'Mainak parvat' could fly also? I wish the same for you- one day you'll surely fly high.

Your birthday falls in the month of Shravana according to the Bengali calendar. A light drizzle was coming down on the parched earth on the day you were born. Inside the OT, your mother was shedding tears of joy on your arrival.

In these six years, if I have taught you the alphabets, then you have also taught me what it means to love unconditionally. I never knew how much love my heart can hold until I saw your cute baby face for the first time. I never imagined how much love I am capable of giving to another person until you called me 'Maa'. I know that I am not a perfect mother. I never was. Rather my role in your life can aptly be summarized as a 'part-time mother'. When you needed me the most, I was not by your side. You have often complained to me that unlike your friends mothers, your mother never visit your school to pick you up. You are too little to understand why your mother cannot do as much as your friends mothers do or why she cannot visit your school often or why she has to go to the office everyday. But I do hope that one day when you'll grow up a bit more, you'll understand and forgive your mother for all her faults.

In these six years of loving each other and caring for each other, its not only me who have made the transition from being a woman to being a mother. You have also become more of a father to me than a son. In days when I come late from office and you become anxious, in rainy days when you wonder whether your mother has taken the umbrella with her or not, in days when you make my room tidy and arrange my books neatly in their proper place when I am off to my office, I find you resemble my father. For you care for me in the same way.

One day you'll learn to fly by yourself and leave this nest to fly high in the sky. But no matter how far you spread your wings, your mother will always be there for you. Your mother will always protect you under her wings whenever your wings will get tired of flying. Till that day comes, let me hug you a little more tighter today. Let me love you a little more today. Let me cuddle you and buy birthday gifts for you today. Tomorrow I don't know whether I'll get the chance.

Here's wishing all the good things in the world for you on your birthday as you cut the cake and snub off the candles.

With lots of love and love and only love,
Your Maa.

This post was published first in Momspresso. Click here to read.

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